I'm having a day at home today...partially because I am a dark shade of tomato red due to a double dose of sunburn, also because I have been out and about so much lately that it is nice to take a breather and spend the day as nothing more than a couch potato, but mostly because I woke this morning with tremors, and slightly blurry vision. My first reaction to the symptom flare up was "please, not again"...although I try to remain positive and try to keep a positive outlook on the future there are some days when the effects of MS can be overwhelming, frustrating, and even angering. I hate finding the most simplest of tasks difficult to undertake/carry-out at times, and I hate the losses I have endured (several friends and a significant other) because of it, either directly or indirectly...To be blunt it is a pain in the bum and heartbreaking at times to have MS, but then I realise that there are people who are so much worse off than I in so many different ways, and that friends or others who decide to walk a path heading away from me because of my MS...well, really weren't worth walking a path with anyway.
So the gist of that little ramble is that even though having MS is a bit like riding a rollercoaster, and I'm not going to be on this earth as long as I would have liked the days that I am able to make the most of life I'm going to do so and not let symptoms, small minded or self absorb people get me down.
All that is really a roundabout way of leading into my next bit of news...
I went to a pool party/BBQ yesterday ( which I enjoyed thoroughly), hence my skin's new shade of red (maybe I should post a couple of the pics taken of my lovely tomato coloured face), and while having a conversation about joining an agency that deals in "extras" for commercials, films and TV programs (it was suggested to me a couple of weeks ago, sounded fun, so I went ahead and did it) with a few people I was introduced to a very genial and witty up and coming film editor (and as Kym eloquently observed and voiced, he's a real hottie)...anyway, the long and the short of it is that we hit it off really well and he asked me out for dinner...as in a date...as in a proper date not a casual date thingie. Now, the thing is I'm not interested in a serious relationship (still gun-shy and not ready) and I am not one of those people who need to be with someone because they don't want to be alone (these are the ones who generally take from a relationship, but forget it you to give as well)...and because of my MS I am very apprehensive and more than a little frightened to let some get close to me in such a way...I've already had enough heartache to last me a lifetime and wouldn't like to have another serve...so...saying all that I don't want to pre-judge someone, I don't want to close any avenues that could help me move on...and last but certainly not least, he called me pretty, lol ( a girl's got to grab every compliment they can as you never know when the next one will come your way :p).
What do I do? I told him that I wasn't really thinking about serious dating and he answered that it was fine; he would still like to take me out to dinner. Asked me to think it over until Monday evening and give him an answer to going out on a dinner date then.
Meanwhile I have another more immediate dilemma; the Sci-Fi channel launched here in Oz today--with tons of great programs in the day's lineup--and also the second Ashes cricket test starts to day...which one do I watch while I impersonate a couch potato? Channel flicking perhaps? Hmm...some decisions are very difficult to make. ;p